The BEST Adult JOKES

The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A.

Grand Prize USD50,000.00

(1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.

Mom asked "How do you know dear?"

Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."

First Prize USD25,000.00

(2) Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."

Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."

2 hours later>>Immigrant Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."

10 Consolation Prize USD10,000.00 each

(3) After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.

Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"

Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."

(4) Women's lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes.

Noon, hang clothes.

Evening, keep clothes.

Nite, iron clothes.

Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.

(5) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:

"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.

"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.

"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.

(6) A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.

She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said, "Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."

(7) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"

Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."

Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"

Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"

(8) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:

"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"

Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."

(9) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."

Teacher: "Why?"

Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."

(10) Two sperms talking on mobile phone.

Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"

2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."

(11) Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis. This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought

An amazing woman from China

This is very amazing woman and this video is well worth watching because you have never seen anything like this before.

Human ingenuity at its best.

http://www.elegantbay.com/main/amazingwoman.htm

my fish tank

With flash... this tank has Monodactylus argenteus ( Mono angel fish ) and Monodactylus sebae ( Mono Sabae )

Mono Sabae

Mono angel fish

the lighting effect...

the lighting effect...The Blue objects are my two slices of volcano stone. This tank has 6 silver white angel fish plus some Boon fish.

Another tank with my albino peacock cichlid

Albino peacock cichlid, very beautiful fish

Get ready for my colleague's order-a 2' X 1' X 1' tank. The right side tank is my new tank for my office. It is being going through water leakage test now. I have just sold my small tank (decorated with fishes inside) for RM300.00. Those who have seen my tank in my office would really love it and definitely admire my work...the deco part! Well i am sort of expert now! I shall post the pic soon; to proof to you.

Enhancing...

LifePak; a dietary supplement ...Hope to reduce my single pack! to 6 pack!

trimshake; a nutritionally balanced meal replacement drink

No foam; improve protection against plague.

Yesterday when down town was having hoo haa in Jalan Masjid Indian area. i slipped out to Jalan Binjai off Jalan Ampang supposingly to meet a friend, kylim from Penang; anyway didn't manage to meet him cos he was caught in a massive jam in KL Central area.Haha may he was trying to "persuade" me again...!!!! Later when i called him again at about 8 pm (while watching the news) He was on the bus back to Penang!! What a day to meet huh!

I was well received by Lim's friend-Tjong and ended up buying some good stuff for myself...let's see later!